I’ve written this post more than once and I just haven’t loved what I’ve written. It just hasn’t seemed quite right. So, I’m saying a prayer, and writing this one last time.
If you like blog posts that have long intros that seem to drag on until you get to what you really want to know, then;
[insert witty and captivating intro here]
If not, you’re in luck.
I’m going to share three things that I don’t think we talk about enough when it comes to goals. And in my opinion, is the secret sauce behind accomplishing our goals. If you’re anything like me, the last day in January is the perfect time to post something like this. Some of my goals I‘ve had luck with, others I’ve already petered out a bit on, and that exercise goal I have…well, February seems like the perfect time to start! Anyone else???
Before we hop into that, I want to quickly talk about how to use the 2020 goal sheet I’ve created. That way, when you finally get to 'the good stuff’ in this post you can think about what you want to write! The sheet is divided into three sections; word of the year, a space for an “I am” statement, and then a few lines for goals. Yes, the lack of space was done intentionally. You don’t need 600 goals this year. Your worth is not based on what you do or do not accomplish. And creating a laundry list of things you want to accomplish this year doesn’t serve anyone. Especially not you.
WORD OF THE YEAR- If you haven’t heard of this before, a word of the year is a word you pick that you feel embodies what you want to focus for the year. It's kind of like a theme. It can be anything you want. To give you an idea, here are a few more I’ve heard this year that I thought were neat; space, no, harmony and relationships. Mine is 'present.'
But really, it can be whatever you want! Be creative, be honest, and pick a word that feels right to you.
I AM STATEMENT- This is one of my favorite things. “I am” statements are powerful. You’ll find that your brain is going to do everything in it’s power to make sure that statement is true, and look for the proof of how those words are true already. Mine is “I am enough.” I might tell you more about that later…we'll see. Pick a truth that you might forget to tell yourself or pick something you want to see happen in your life. It doesn’t have to do with confidence or self-love. It could be “I am a healthy person” or “I am a successful business owner.” You will find yourself making choices to make your “I am” statement true. Or, if it’s more like mine, it will slowly rewire your brain to swap out a lie you've been telling yourself for something that is actually true.
GOALS FOR THE NEW YEAR- Like I said before, there are only 5 lines for a reason! Don’t drown yourself in goals. Pick intentionally! I love the idea of picking a goal for different areas in your life (spiritual, social, intellectual, and physical). It helps make your goals more manageable, and a little more well-rounded too. They can be big or small. And once again, make goals that feel right for you.
Alright, now that you know a little bit of what I was thinking when I created that printable, make sure you download it and print it out! Did you do it? Yay!
Ok, time to get to the good stuff; 3 things I think we’re missing when it comes to setting and achieving goals.
First up I want to talk about beliefs. Writing a goal down, or saying you want to accomplish something isn't enough. There is some pretty crucial behind the scenes work that needs happen.
I recently read about this idea of, if you wanted to attract something good into your life, you needed to let go of the negative experiences and limiting beliefs you are consciously or subconsciously holding onto. When you've got baggage you're not letting go of, your energy and attention is divided and you can’t go full steam ahead on anything new- no matter how positive or wonderful that dream may be.
The solution? Do a little digging, figure out what you're holding on to and as a very popular Disney character sings- let it go.
At first I totally didn't think this was true. But the more I've thought about it, the more I've decided (at least for me) it is most definitely is. I've spent a lot of time recently trying to let go of anything negative I've been holding on to. Subconsciously I've created a story for myself riddled with negative beliefs that simply aren't true.
I'll spare you the details of my digging. All that needs to be said is, as I looked at each one of these less than fantastic experiences, I realized what I'd taken from them had turned into an inner dialogue of "you are not enough." I'd been holding onto all this "proof" that I wasn't enough, so is it any wonder that the last few years I haven't gotten anywhere with creating the business I want to? Of course not! Deep down I didn't believe I could because, based on previous experiences, I hadn't been enough.
Do you get it? First you need to recognize the negative experiences that are holding you back, feel all the feels, work through them, and then let them go. And then you need to figure out what limiting beliefs came from them and figure out a new story to start telling yourself. That is why one of the lines on the printable is for an "I AM" statement.
Mine simply says, "I am enough." That's what I'm telling myself this year. Because guess what? It's true.
So how do we let go? I'm going to take the risk of losing a few readers and say it is through our Savior and His Atonement. I think we forget that the Atonement isn’t just for repentance. It’s for healing too. Christ is reaching out to you.He wants to help, He wants to make your burdens light. And speaking from personal experience, I think He's the only one who really can.
“…surely he has born out griefs, and carried our sorrows. …
…He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace was upon him: AND WITH HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED.”
(Isaiah 53: 4-5)
The first step to actually achieving goals is getting rid of anything that is taking away from the energy we need to keep moving forward. Get rid of the baggage, hand it over to Christ, pick a truth to start telling yourself and keep moving- full steam ahead.
Next, let's talk about making your goals work for you. I think there are two major factors that need to be taken into consideration when it comes two making goals work for you.
First, you need to consider your environment. Is it helping or keeping you from achieving the goals you've set for the New Year? If you say you want to eat healthy but your cupboards are stocked with junk, what do you think is going to happen? I f you say you want to exercise, but have to dig around for your workout clothes, or go 20 minutes out of your way every day to get to the gym you belong to, do you think you will? Take a hard look at your surrounding and the things you do on the daily, and figure out if they are helping or hurting you. And then, make adjustments accordingly. As humans we naturally choose the path of least resistance...make that path for yourself! I highly recommend the books Atomic Habits and Influencer for a deeper dive into this. For the sake of not making this post too long I'll give you an example of what to do, and leave it at that.
One of my New Year's resolutions is to take better care of my body. Part of that is actually washing my face. To increase the chances of that happening I use a face wash that can be put on dry (so it shortens the whole process of washing my face) and I keep the face wash right on the sink. It probably drives my husband nuts, but it raises the likelihood of my face actually getting washed significantly because I've gotten rid of some of the resistance around face washing.
Ready for the second factor? Stop trying to do someone else's goals or live someone else's life!! You were sent here for a reason. There is something only you can do. And in order to figure out what that is you need to get aligned with our Heavenly Father, so you can know exactly what it is He needs you to do with your time here on Earth.
When I’ve tried to achieve a goal…or even a dream that was most likely contrary to Heavenly Father’s will for me, it’s been a frustrating and unsuccessful experience.
It’s like running into a brick wall. Over, and over, and over again. It doesn’t matter how hard I run, or what angle I hit the wall at. The same thing happens…
I’m not saying that every goal that doesn’t happen or isn’t achieved is because we weren’t align with Heavenly Father. We still need to take some responsibility…but, when goals ARE made through seeking and receiving personal revelation, it usually seems (maybe not in the moment but rather when looking back) that everything fell into place when and where it was meant to happen. Almost like magic.
So, stop comparing and get aligned. I promise achieving goals will become easier when we start setting the right goals- not goals we feel like we should be because everybody else is doing it too.
And finally, leave room for grace. I don't think we talk about this enough.
You know what else I don't think we talk about enough?
The empowering aspect of Christ's Atonement.
As my favorite scripture says;
“What shall we say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”
I’d like to add to that scripture- “what can’t we accomplish?”
Do your best. You can't do it all. You won't be perfect. And that's ok. The only one putting those unrealistic ideals and pressure on you is you! And...maybe the world. Guess what? You are a child of God. And there are some pretty nice perks that come along with that. For starters, your individual worth isn't up for debate. You are worth more than you know. Our little mortal brains can't even begin to comprehend it. Just do your best. That is enough. Another perk? Each of us has the right to call down on the powers of heaven for help. Each of us are entitled to receive personal revelation. Each of us can access the empowering, redeeming or healing aspects of the atonement. Each of us can accomplish our goals and dreams.
BUT, until we get that through our heads, and really believe it, feel it and know it, we are living with untapped power and potential. We need to understand who we are and what we are capable of accomplishing. And then, our goals will basically feel like they are accomplishing themselves.
But I do believe you will have better luck achieving your goals.
Download your 2020 goal sheet here.
And, since writing the original draft...I've made it in blue too.