It's also not ever a them vs. us thing, but that's a post for another day.
This is something that has been on my mind for a little while. And now, with my body changing and growing, and EVERYONE having an opinion about it, it seemed like a good time to write this post.
We are all human. We all need the same basics to survive, and, at the end of the day, want very similar things. We seek love, we seek friendship and acceptance, and I think our spirits seek and yearn for truth.
But, even though we each need the same things for our bodies to survive and thrive, I think we forget that that is where the similarities end.
No two bodies are the same. Not on the inside, and most definitely not on the outside. Our bodies are each beautiful in their own way. And if we truly believe that we each were created with our own unique set of talents and individual worth, why is it so dang hard to believe that our bodies can't all be different too??
I've always been skinny. I grew up with my doctors telling me it wouldn't be terrible if I gained a few more pounds, friends telling me to eat sandwhiches, and kids asking me at school if I was anorexic (which if I were, do you really think I would tell them??? [insert eye roll here] ).
I felt bony and awkward, and was wildly jealous when, sometime in middle school, all the other girls started looked a little more like woman, and I still looked like a 12 year old boy. Having no boobs didn't help my case.
The older I got, the more I would hear "Oh, I just wish I were as skinny as you," and, to this day, if I make a comment about being out of shape, the response is something along the lines of, "Oh no you can't be, you're so skinny!!"
Whenever I receive comments like this, or anyone points out how skinny I am, it makes me pretty uncomfortable. And before you get your panties in a bunch, no I'm not complaining about being skinny, OR looking for sympathy. I want to point out a flaw in the way we have been trained to think. Unfortunately, in most people's minds I think we make the terrible assumption that skinny equals good, and that big/ fat equals bad. #FALSE
I vote we stop looking at it as a fat vs. skinny thing. You know what I think it should be?? I think it needs to be a healthy vs. unhealthy thing.
Some people are never going to be as small as I am. Their bone structure literally won't allow them to be. But, if they are eating right, taking care of their bodies, and giving themselves all the self love they know they deserve, WHO CARES. If they are healthy physically and emotionally, their waist size just shouldn't matter.
When we use skinny and fat to discern the good and the bad, we are ignoring the fact that health should be our major concern. To me that's pretty disturbing.
Someone isn't just skinny. There is a spectrum. Some people are naturally skinny. And if they are taking care of their bodies, then I'd say they're on the healthy side of the skinny spectrum. Other people work really hard to stay skinny at the expense of their health. They might have an eating disorder, or work out WAY too much. Mentally and physically these people are not ok, but because we glorify skinny, they think they are doing great.
I don't believe someone can just be fat either. Some girls are just curvier, and maybe because I have zero curves, I think they're gorgeous. If they are taking care of themselves then that is ok. And, I would never consider them fat. EVER! On the other hand people can also be an unhealthy size, and have unhealthy fat on their bodies. Their lives could potentially be at just as much risk as the girl who is starving themselves. Neither one is healthy. Neither one is taking care of their bodies. But, because one is "skinny" they might get positive attention for it.
If we were to look through the "history of what society thinks is the perfect size woman" you'd notice it has changed. And I'm sure, it will continue to change. It's what society/ the world/ commercialism (you pick what you want to call it) wants and needs you to think. Fads are forever changing, the latest health kicks and diets are constantly shifting, and if you sneeze, your closest and all your clothes have just become obsolete. It's all a gimmick. And it's one that keeps us from not only being able to build true and lasting confidence, but to also have a real understanding of our personal worth. If we are always basing our value on what society tells us is important then we will never truly feel valued as an individual.
I think the skinny vs. fat thing plays into this as well. You are never going to be skinny enough. You are never going to be curvy enough. Someone will always have a better butt, boobs, face, or body than you. That's what we are trained and taught to think. We literally cannot win if we keep believing in the dichotomy of body shape. It's unhealthy, it's not safe, and I think it is detrimental to us believing that we really, truly do have worth.
Our worth is not based on any sort of comparison. In order to be fat or skinny, you need to be compared to someone else. We need to stop judging and comparing ourselves to others and start worrying about us. Am I healthy? Am I happy? What could I be doing better to make my body a little bit happier? Spiritually how am I doing? Does anything need to change to change for me to feel better mentally or emotionally? Do I understand that being a daughter of God gives me worth-PERIOD?
I truly believe if we started focusing on this questions, instead of how fat or skinny you are, a lot less time will be spent on the scale, trying to fit into a size that just isn't your size, and worrying about what other people think. Strive to be healthy, and love yourself for trying. It won't be easy, but I think it's definitely worth a try.